P A I N

(You may want to quit reading now! This is mostly for me to have a record of events for my medical history!)

The newest event in my life is pain.

Not too fun. But hopefully it will be short lived.

Three weeks ago we helped Hillary and James move from their condo to an apartment. I had been having shin splints off and on but that night they were hurting worse than ever. Especially in my left leg. Hillary was a sweet nurse, wrapping them in ice packs.

The next week they were painful, but not as bad. I was more careful to wear my MBT's (special shoes) and kept icing. But the following week when I was shopping I noticed my toes started feeling numb and tingly. Weird.

That was a busy week. I threw a bridal shower for a sweet friend (Jillene Overall) and was busy busy busy. On my feet alot - but I just pushed through the pain and basically ignored it.

The blessing - or so I thought - was that I had a myropractor appointment on Friday after the shower. Now the numbness was more intense. And the pain was getting worse. He told me I had a pinched nerve and adjusted everything. He said that the numbness should go away in a day and a half.

NOPE, it didn't. In fact, it started getting worse. More pain, more numbness. Now my big toe and the outside of my left leg and ankle were totally numb.

By Monday night I was hurting so bad and scared. I also started noticing I was walking funny, so I called my brother Marc, who is a physical therapist. He asked me a bunch of questions, was very concerned and told me to come into his office on Tues morning.

I decided to have Vaughan give me a Priesthood blessing that night and James helped him. That gave me some peace.

Tuesday - after seeing Marc I knew things were not good at all. He explained a nerve was being compromised and tested my strength in that leg and foot. I learned that I had lost the ability to lift my big toe up. My funny walking has a name - slap walking and he told me that eventually I could start dragging my toe. (It's actually happened a couple of times now.) He wanted me to go to an orthopedic doctor and likely get an MRI.

All I heard was "spend lots of money that you don't have". We don't currently have health insurance. Marc did physical therapy on me and gave me some exercises to do at home. He also gave me the name of a dr. to see and I had Hillary call and get quotes. OUCH.

When I got home I called the myropractor again and he got me in that afternoon. I explained what was going on and that things were worse. He worked quite awhile on me.

The next day nothing was any better and I think I started realizing that this was not going to be a quick fix. I felt discouraged. But I did my exercises and used the heating pad faithfully!

On Thursday I went back for pt and it felt really good, but is exhausting. I asked Marc if he wanted me to make a dr. appointment or not. I had already decided that was what I would do, as we would just have to work it out financially. He said, lets wait two weeks. He wants me to come in for pt twice a week the next two weeks.

That actually gave me some hope. But it's hard to keep it up. I test my toe off and on all day long. I still can't lift it. It is surreal to feel like you are lifting your toe and it just sits there. My walking feels like it is worse.

It takes So much energy to do anything. I am laying around most of the day and quite frankly it stinks. I have so much I need to do, but just NO energy and strength.

It is painful to sit at the computer very long, but I ignore the pain. I am grateful my girls are home so that they can be my legs. I am so slow.

I am going to have another blessing tomorrow. This is kind of scary. I'm sure everything will workout in the end. Maybe I have something to learn. I know I have learned empathy and compassion for the disabled. This is just a little thing compared to what many experience.

If you have read this far. Sorry. But please keep me in your prayers. I know prayers are heard and answered everyday. SMILING!